I thought it was about time I put down some of my personal feelings about all of this on here, partly to share them with you but also to try and make sense of them. I think that a period of transition is hard for anyone really, I have met very few people who have welcomed change with open arms. I think it's within out nature and conditioning that we don't tend to accept change all that well unless it is slow and rewarding. If you very gradually change yourself bit by bit the changes stick a lot better, especially if you feel good as you go along. This is one of the reasons I think I like wearing womens clothing. Whenever I put some on I am being constantly rewarded for it, either by people I'm talking to online or just the arousal I can get from wearing them. There have only been a few moments where I have worn them just because I wanted to and not got aroused from doing so. I mean an orgasm is a really good way to condition a response, if you have an orgasm while wearing a ladies thong the chances are you are going to want to wear it again hehe. But then it just expands and expands until you may find yourself all dolled up and playing frantically to the biggest orgasm you have ever had. I was like this for a while, but now I have split the two up. Sometimes I have intimate alone times while dressed up, other times I don't. Also I spend time dressed without rubbing or anything like that, the sole purpose not arousal but comfort and I would really like to expand on those times and see just what wearing womens clothing and being feminine actually means to me. If I keep doing my workouts though soon I will have to buy womens trousers or at least bigger ones as my butt is starting ot make my trousers get quite tight hehe.
Another reason that I think I might wear women's clothing is a sort of escapism, just stop being me for a little bit. I can pretend that I'm somebody else or just indulge a different side of my life and feel like I'm doing something rather than just sitting around. I have real problems at the moment with motivation, drive and self confidence which are really holding me back. But each day I try to combat them just a little bit more and soon I think I will be properly on the right path to achieving things worth talking about with people. I really need to break out of this funk so then I can start helping all sorts of people out, experiment and explore more of the world. Just to see what and who's out there. Get some more experiences under my garter belt hehe.
Currently though I feel like the thing holding me back the most, as far as transvestisism is concerned, is that I haven't told my best friend. I think he suspects it a little bit already but it's a relationship that is really precious to me so I don't want to f*** it up at all. He knows a lot about diets, food and exercise though so I'm hoping he will be supportive and help me workout a new diet and fitness regime that will help me look as feminine as possible which I can start next year. I'm thinking that 2013 will be my experimentally femme year where I will try out all sorts of things to see how they affect my body and mind. I'll post my results on here of course, the aim of which would be to create a resource you can use showing you my experiences and what I believe to be the best methods of feminization. I'll have to take my measurements and I'm trying to devise a little test that I can do at the start of the year and again at the end to see what has changed and I'll look around on the internet to see if there are any that I like. I'll be trying out pretty much everything I can afford to hehe, hair removal, make up, clothing styles .etc and try to be objective about them as well as say which ones I personally prefer. The other major bonus about telling my best friend will be the ability to wear make up .etc on a more permanent basis, which would be amazing. At the moment I only have nail polish but I would love to be able to do all my nails rather than just my toes, that would be a wonderful start hehe.
So far 7 people have filled in the polls page and I want to thank them ever so much for doing so. I think I'm going to make a little gif or sexy pic as a reward for doing them in order to entice people to do so hehe. Also I am thinking of upgrading all of the prizes for the competitions to an exclusive video each rather than a picture in an effort to encourage more people to enter. I have currently had NO entries, that's right 0, none, zilch, absolutely nobody has entered them yet. So if you are reading this then please at the very least think about entering because currently....you will win! Hehe! If only 1 person enters then they will win, get all the credit and a whole load of free exclusive stuffs.....which just doesn't seem fair. But please enter as I do actually need the content submitted in order to make this website even better. If you have any suggestions please send them to me or comment on this, I will read it and respond if I can. Also there is a new competition coming soon....so be ready for it! I'll be announcing it later and hopefully more people will want to enter this one! Hehe :P I hope you have fun and as always thank you for reading my blog :)
No comments:
Post a Comment